the state of being enslaved to a habit or practice or to something that is psychologically or physically habit-forming, as narcotics, to such an extent that its cessation causes severe trauma.
1. the condition in which sexual gratification depends on suffering physical pain or humiliation.
2. gratification gained from pain, deprivation, degradation, etc., inflicted
or imposed on oneself, either as a result of one’s own actions or the actions of others, especially the tendency to seek this form of gratification.
3. the act of turning one’s destructive tendencies inward or upon oneself.
"Why do you do that? Why do you continue to go back to that? What’s wrong with you?"
[Critical thinking is better than that.]
There’s a point when everyone is addicted to something. We fail to understand ourselves at times when we catch ourselves involuntarily, unintentionally, or deeply cycling through habits that sometimes we didn’t even realize had been established. Sometimes they are harmless, but sometimes they are powerful and harsh aspects in our lives that threaten to suffocate us.
[Crawl into my mind and turn my suffering into my salvation.]
The sex addict may not understand bulimic, the cutter may not understand the drug addict, the drunk may not understand the smoker; but the addict understands the addict and there is a connection between people when we break it down to the experience itself rather than the situation experienced.
[Do you think a heart attack is any less of a disease than cancer?]
Your demons may differ from mine. You may try to judge me because you have fewer or because yours are quieter or less urgent; but you still know the haunting, the plague, the desire, the loss of control, the suffering, the mental handicap and the effect in your life because of it—and in that sense, you are no more freer or higher from hell than I am; though you may be more distant from me by your own choosing so that, in case you cannot lift me up or vice versa, you don’t want to get dragged down by me.
[Because I may not want to go up yet (not if I am somehow still enjoying a life I seem to be trying to end)—but if you can understand why, and teach me to be addicted to something better—living—I might be willing to give that a shot anyways.]